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blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

So I can either bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.

nick nO THAT’S NOT HOW YOU BAKE COOKIES FRIEND

FLOOR IT?

NICK NO

HOW ABOUT 4,000,000 DEGREES FOR 1 SECOND

NICK YOU ARE GOING TO BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN

I’M GOING TO HARNESS THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES

NICK P L E A S E

(via sammehbutt)

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hiilikedragons:


hiccstridforever:


Hiccstrid Parallels (2/?) 

DIES.

omg I’ve always loved Astrid for this. She doesn’t just try and talk to him at a normal level, because she knows he avoids eye contact. He’s used of a life of people LITERALLY looking down at him, so he just escapes by glancing downward when he feels inadequate. But she won’t have it from him— she gets down ON HIS LEVEL and makes him look up. Makes him see what she sees: somebody worthwhile and worth looking straight in the eye.
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kissnecks:

knitmeapony:

My next million dollar idea: reluctant exercise videos with people who aren’t perky.

"Just five more… I know, I kind of want to die right now too, but let’s just power through it."

"Okay, new yoga pose.  It’s going to ache like a bastard until your hamstrings release, I’m not gonna lie."

"Stretch a little deeper… it’s okay to yell ‘fuck’ at this point, I won’t tell anyone."

yes

(via itsblogging-orcluedo)

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I FUCKING HATE WHEN PEOPLE POUR KETCHUP ALL OVER THE FRENCH FRIES INSTEAD OF A DESIGNATED CORNER AND THEY OFFER ME SOME LIKE NO FUCK YOU AND YOUR TAINTED FRENCH FRIES

(Source: oreoprince, via floralduck)

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acciobenedictcumberbatch:

cedricdigory:

it kind of bothers me that after all this time people still dont understand how sorting works in harry potter

its not necessarily based on the characteristics you possess, its the ones you value, and that my friends is completely different. that is why the sorting hat considers your choice, otherwise why would he bother with your opinion

primary examples would be hermione, wormtail and lockhart

see also: neville

(via sammehbutt)

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comedycentral:

"You’re not supposed to eat Americone Dream after sex. You’re supposed to eat it during sex. That’s what the waffle cone pieces are for, they’re ribbed for your pleasure.” -Stephen Colbert
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nova-r:

i need a new bra, looks like it’s time to take out a fucking loan

(via lastkid-stillkicking)

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d0nn0:

d0nn0:

SOMEONE HELP I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY BECAUSE IM NOT LUKE AND IM SCARED FOR JAKE’S SAFETY

This got 32k and the guy was in the bathtub the whole time trippin on lsd
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itsstuckyinmyhead:

Avengers photoset #17
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romtorum5ever:

Robin the bank
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carpeumbra:

kittengrin:

kittengrin:

carpeumbra:

kittengrin:

carpeumbra:

Fifty Shades of Domestic Abuse

50 Shades of Damaging Stereotypes 

Fifty Shades of Wanna Guess How Many People Will Be Hospitalized Due To Flesh Wounds From Improper Knots After The Movie?

50 Shades of Glorified Abuse

50 Shades of Kidney Damage from Incompetent Crop Use

Fifty Shades of Pathological Violence Due To Past Trauma Isn’t Kink

(via 22-jumpstreet)

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sixpenceee:

sixpenceee:

HORRIFIC FACTS ABOUT ORIGINAL DISNEY PRINCESSES YOU DIDN’T KNOW
TRIGGER WARNING: RAPE, ABUSE, VIOLENCE
ALADDIN
In the original version of Aladdin, Cassim (Aladdin’s long lost father) gets killed by thieves. Cassim was a greedy man who sneaks into a cave to try and steal some gold coins.
He gets locked in the cave and some thieves come kill him, and cut up his corpse into quarters and place the dismembered portions outside the opening of their cave as a warning to future robbers.
CINDERELLA
In the original Cinderella, one of the step sisters slices of her own toe and the other her heel so they could fit into the shoe.
Cinderella’s magic bird points out the blood in the stockings, and each of the step-sister’s eyes are pecked out for deceit.
In the original story also, Cinderella slams down a large wooden chest down on her step-mother’s throat, killing her. 
SLEEPING BEAUTY
In the original story, a hedge grows around sleeping beauty’s castle. Men from all around come to see the sleeping princess but the brambles are so thick that they all get trapped and die a slow miserable death. 
In the original story also, the king rapes the sleeping princess. She’s impregnated with 2 twins. The queen attempts to slaughter the two babies and have them fed to the father. 
THE LITTLE MERMAID
In the original story, Ariel’s tongue is cut out. She lives in the worst kind of pain and her feet continuously bleed. The prince marries another women, and Ariel ends up committing suicide. 
SNOW WHITE
In the original version of Snow White, the Queen actually tries to kill Snow White 3 times. One by pulling her corset so tight that she passes out, another by brushing her hair with a poisoned comb, and a third by the poison apple.
Snow White was also inspired by a gruesome tale, of a young girl who gets made into a slave by a jealous wife. The wife thinks her husband is committing adultery with the girl. She makes the girl her slave and tortures and beats her everyday. 
She gives her black eyes and making her mouth so bloody it looks as though she’s been “eating raw pigeons.”
POCAHONTAS
In the original story, when Pocahontas was seventeen, she was captured by the English and held for ransom. Her husband Kokoum was killed and Pocahontas was raped repeatedly and consequently impregnated. 
She was forcefully converted to Christianity, baptized Rebecca, and quickly married off to an English tobacco farmer named John Rolfe to make the pregnancy appear legitimate.
SOURCE: X

I should add that the story of Pocahontas is actually TRUE
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The story so far:
In the beginning the Universe was created.
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
-Douglas Adams (via kushandwizdom)

(via tatteredghost)

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h0odrich:

awwww-cute:

This is how a happy baby elephant looks like


GO OFF!!!
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